Surprised?

Are you surprised? Well, you shouldn't be. Are you shocked that people don't meet your expectations, or worse- blatantly betray you? I'm sorry people, but there are only a few things in life that you can count on, and one of them is that people are CONSISTENTLY selfish! When it comes down to it, you can bet that in a sticky situation they sure as heck aren't going to pick your well-being over theirs! Survival instinct, my friend. You may be thinking- "what crazy twisted betrayal could have led her to such a glib way of thinking?" Well, there's a list, it may be shorter or longer than yours- who knows. That's not the point. I've seen your list too. That is what has led me to such a conclusion. Logically- wouldn't you rather count on something that shows up in every person in the world (selfishness) or hold out for an unrealistic ideal? The fact is- it's common sense.
Hmmm, actually that doesn't match up, cause if it was common sense- then everyone would have it (almost). And CLEARLY it is not common knowledge that very little should be expected of human beings in general. I'm not saying don't give people a chance. Of course, they can prove you wrong. But just take that instance where they proved you wrong and simply appreciate it for what it is- a conscious act against their very nature. If you take it in that mind frame, everyone's happy! Your don't feel like the rugs been ripped out from under you, because you saw it coming, and you jumped! And there isn't as much drama, because the culprit is completely thrown off by your reaction. priceless. stay on top.
You can think what you want, think I need therapy, pity me because I won't trust people. But, I bet, when you are all alone, and you felt like you've just been punched in the stomach because an inconsistency in your sweetie's alibi is glaring you in the face; or when a secret is betrayed and you feel like someone ripped out part of your heart and put it up for sale to the highest bidder on gossip ebay; or when someone crosses the line and betrays something you held so sacred (say marriage, anyone?), or when someone turns out to not be who you though AT ALL, after years of knowing them perhaps . . . . . You will wish- you will wish that you had assumed it from the get-go. You will wish that instead of being blindsided you foresaw the bullet coming. (although of course there is still pain) there won't be any sting. You can shrug, say "I guessed as much," and (I guarrantee) get on with your life ten times faster.
And really- there are great people out there. I LOVE people. I find them fascinating and engaging. I'm not saying people are evil. It's just that EVERYONE is capable of the lowest lows. People can do loyal things, or posess loyal qulaities, but in the end, no one is inherently loyal.
So even if I do have to go to therapy, to me, it is worth it. I would rather trust too little, than too much. Because if someone's gonna work hard enough to gain it, that might (keyword: MIGHT) be an indicator that they'll work hard to keep it. I just think it's funny, and VERY sad simultaneously that people give their trust away likes it not precious. They are so dumbfounded when people choose their own desires over loyalty. That is human nature.
I'm not justifying it. It's sick, and it helps me appreciate those who show themselves reliable in some situations. I really feel as if I genuinely admire good qualities more than the next person, because I expect less than the next person. No one wants to hear the story of the millionaire getting richer. It's the stories of triumph from the pits that intrigue the imagination. I'm watching you tell YOUR story. When you resist your selfish urges, I'm cheering you on more than anyone- because I didn't expect you to. Everyone else is unimpressed because they already hold you to an unrealistic standard. Yes, it may be nice having the benefit of the doubt, but friend . . . . . you have so much further to fall. All I'm saying is that it is just easier to see things how they are. Take your blindfold off, and stop crying when someone trips you. You've done it too.
Just as a side note, or er, end note-whatev: I don't think that a lack of trust automatically makes you a cold person. We've seen so much pycho-babble on TV, we assume we are professionals in what is healthy and not- especially concerning trust. People say, "you've got to trust, you've got to open up." Oh, do I? I don't think so, unless you are trying to convince me to trust you personally, then don't waste your time. Are you going to be there to pick up the pieces when my world's turned upside down by betrayal? Probably not. Then why is it a crime to protect myself?
I hope I'm not mean about it. Generally I think I'm a dang friendly person. Haha, it's silly- I was just told, people think I'm being fake cause I'm TOO friendly! Is it possible? Apparently. I'm sure my blonde hair and valley-girl way of talking doesn't help the matter. I realize it makes it difficult for people to take me seriously. I've tried to work on it, but unfortunately - my excitable, animated, shrill way of speaking is here to stay. Sorry! (definitely ruins any chances of being a lawyer, talk about glass-ceilings: mine's about a foot shorter than anyone else's) But when it comes down to it- I am sincere whether you recognize it or not. I'd rather be overly friendly than the alternative.
Okay, that was a tangent. All of this to say: You can love, and not trust, you can be friendly, but assume they will always choose their interests over yours, you can be open, but keep in mind that people are human. It's called a defense mechanism for a reason- it keeps you from getting hurt. I always thought I was an optimist because I'm a happy person. Negatory. I assume nothing of people, if not BAD things from them. I'm a realist . . . . . and I still manage to stay happy? Weird. Only by the grace of God.
Good luck. Keep human nature in mind at all times, so you never have to endure a slap in the face without already knowing it's coming